i remember vividly scribbling over my notes a few months ago when i still had the grasp for something greater - expect no more than what you can achieve. then it hit on me just minutes into my physics lesson therein lies the most terrible flaw any mankind has ever made or even noticed.

i can still recall the times when the voices circling around my head echoed the words 'give up, max' when i almost reached nadir. as much as i longed for the easy way out, i decided to perservere. no, i didnt want to settle comfortably amongst the losers. no, i didnt want to settle for something lesser than what i can achieve. i think im made for something better. i think some of my friends are made for something better. not all, some.

but i realised, everytime i expect - the disappointment is always greater, no less.

its not that we cant push ourselves and reached for the stars. its not that we cant pass the finish line in the shortest possible time. but because we're only humans and only want to fit in nicely. we're all just too lazy to go that extra mile. someone once told me - 'do your best in whatever you undertake, else you can just save the effort. ' for you and i both know, as much as it makes sense, majority of us behave otherwise.

and the past few days were no exception for me.

not that i didnt predict my performances, but i guess i should have just known better. its not so much about the imperfection or flaws that im constantly rambling about.

its really about something good gone wrong.

kudos to those that truly perservere - my idols than to those ordinary of the ordinary. and you tell me to count my lucky stars, id give you no less than to what i can do. its just fate. its just fate yadayada. and at times you really wonder who are the true ones that are there to support you. and oh! the piece of paper that possesed the 8 words were being striked out. instead, it read...

dont expect - you never know what shit might actually come your way.