i dont really know my father but he always knew exactly what was expected of him. my father was a brilliant father and - here's the killer - he didnt even have to be there to be a brilliant father.

'wait until your father gets home' was enough to get me to behave. his name just had to be evoked by my mother and suddenly i understood all i needed to know about being a good boy. he turned on me, eyes blazing, and for a moment i thought that he was going to hit me. he had never laid a finger on me in my life. but there's always a first time.

wait until your father gets home, she told me. and the mere mention of my father was enough a reason to make everything in the universe fall into place. that was how brilliant my father was.

but you dont hear that threat so much today. how many women ( or mothers ) actually say, wait until your father gets home now? not many. because these days there are some fathers that are home all the time. and there are some fathers that never come home.